Ella's tragic death spurs her parents on to help others

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Thursday, March 11, 2010
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This is Cornwall

TODAY the West Briton launches its bid to help parents who suffer one of the worst tragedies imaginable – the loss of a child.

We want to help Truro couple Martyn and Emmillie Selley raise the initial £5,000 of their Ella's Memory campaign to improve facilities in the Daisy Suite at the Royal Cornwall Hospital. The grieving parents came up with the idea for Ella's Memory following their own tragic loss in December last year.

The Selleys, from Carnon Downs want to raise thousands of pounds to overhaul facilities at the special room, which provides a quiet sanctuary for parents suffering the same traumatic loss. They have the full backing of the Royal Cornwall Hospitals Trust (RCHT) – and the West Briton.

The Selleys lost their daughter when Emmillie was 38 weeks pregnant.

"Everything had been fine up to that point. She was a healthy baby, but we became concerned when she stopped moving," said business development consultant Martyn.

The couple then had to endure the agony of their daughter being delivered, knowing she would be stillborn.

"She was born with the cord around her neck," said Emmillie. "All the tests were inconclusive. We have been told there is a 1 in 1,000 chance the cord can cause death, so we think this is probably the most likely cause."

The couple praised hospital maternity staff as a "phenomenal help", but said the existing Daisy Suite, where parents can spend time with their baby, was "tired".

"We would like to replace the sofa bed, which is 10 years old, and provide a new camera and printer and plaster of Paris kits for parents to remember their children," said Martyn.

In time, and if enough money is raised, the couple have ambitious plans to replace the suite's window and provide a new bath and shower.

Hospital spokesman Laura Mason said staff and managers were touched by the couple's offer of help. She said: "The loss of a baby is a devastating event and it is humbling that Emmillie and Martin have found strength to raise funds for the Daisy Suite at the maternity unit. The suite has been offering a more private and peaceful area for parents for several years and we will be delighted to see the area refreshed."

The West Briton believes the cause is one every parent, if not every reader, can relate to and has agreed to back the fund-raising efforts by publicising them and the campaign.

To help raise funds, Jo Beard, a legal executive with Carlyon & Sons in Truro and a trustee of the Ella's Memory charity, is climbing Table Mountain in South Africa on March 31 with her partner, Nicholas Taylor.

Anyone wishing to help can send cheques made out to 'Ella's Memory' to Jo Beard, legal executive, Carlyon & Sons Solicitors, 78 Lemon Street, Truro, TR1 2PZ.

We would also like to hear from anybody planning fund-raising events so we can help with publicity.

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3 Comments

  • Profile image for This is Cornwall

    by Ninanananoonoo, Cornwall

    Thursday, March 11 2010, 8:21PM

    “'Witheld' - my heart truly aches for you. What a devastating time you must have gone through. I'm so sorry for your losses.”

  • Profile image for This is Cornwall

    by Sarah Ashley, Helston

    Thursday, March 11 2010, 8:04PM

    “I agree with the above comment, and am so pleased that there is so much help out there for families who have lost babies these days compared to some years ago.
    I wish Martyn and Emmille all the best with their fund raising, the hospital does a trememdous job in supporting families in this situation, and I am so pleased that Ella's memory will help other families who have suffered a loss.
    Clearly she is a special little girl, who will make a real difference in the county”

  • Profile image for This is Cornwall

    by withheld, GB

    Thursday, March 11 2010, 3:43PM

    “It's heatening to hear that there is help available nowadays for bereaved parents. I lost 5 babies, 3 in Treliske hosp - 2 were stillborn, I never got to hold them or have a funeral, as one was 7 months and one 5months. I also had a live birth, a son who died after 11 hours. How I wish I had been able to hold him, and grieve properly. The funeral was so pianful, I just wanted to take him out of the little coffin, and bring him back. to life. Things should not have happened this way, for me closure was a very long process, and wasn't final until I went to stay at a Christian retreat, and they helped me through it. This was all well over 20 years ago, I do wonder why it has taken so long to recognise that parents of stillborns and early deaths, need a lot of help if they are ever to get over it, and move on. Name & address withheld. Sorry”

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