A TRURO mother who suffered the stillbirth of her second child two weeks before her due date has spoken about her loss and the benefits of channelling her grief into the creation of a new charity in memory of her daughter.

Emmillie Selley, from Carnon Downs, lost her daughter in December after noticing their was no movement in her uterus.

"I was 38 weeks and everything had been totally normal, in fact we had been joking about how much she had been moving – but then I couldn't feel anything," said Emmillie.

She contacted Royal Cornwall Hospital staff who reassured her and told her to drink icy water.

After waiting half an hour she went to the maternity ward at Treliske where a scan confirmed her worst fears.

"I remember looking at (husband) Martyn and we just fell silent.

"The midwife grabbed my hand and then we just waited to hear the doctor to tell us that she had died," she said.

The precise cause of death remains unknown but the umbilical chord was found wrapped around the baby's neck. Emmillie then had to endure the agony of delivering her child knowing she was dead and would have nothing to hold at the end.

"The midwife, Sarah Jane, was lovely.

"She showed the right emotion and made a very difficult, traumatic time much more bearable," said Emmillie, who gave birth at the hospital's Daisy Suite – a special room for parents experiencing the loss of a baby.

The midwives took photographs and paid for the funeral of the infant, which is offered to all parents of infants who do not survive through whatever reason.

After several weeks the family held a small service at the Penmount Crematorium, taken by the vicar who had married the couple.

"The funeral brought some closure which I needed at that time," said Emmillie, who struggled with the overwhelming sense of grief that seemed to take over her life.

"I have a three-year-old son, Max.

"If I had been on my own I would have stayed in and shut out the world, but he made me face up to things, although it was a fraught time and something that affected him greatly too," she said.

The family turned to Penhaligon's Friends, a charity based in Redruth which offers a free specialist grief support programme for children and young people.

"Max was angry and withdrew from me because I returned home without Ella.

"He didn't understand where she was and assumed I had done something with her," said Emmillie.

"I was distraught and thankfully my mum and the advisors at Penhaligon helped explain everything to him," she added.

The couple were initially fearful of showing their grief in front of Max, afraid their outpouring of emotion would prove too much for him.

"Penhaligon told us that children feel grief as deeply as adults do.

'Much closer'

"We decided to be more open with him, but keep the information simple and to the point, which seems rather blunt, but his behaviour improved so much once things had been explained to him and we have become much closer as a family," said Emmillie.

Martyn is the driving force behind their Ella's Memory charity, which has so far raised £1,800 for new equipment and a much-needed makeover of the Daisy Suite.

He is planning a sponsored 125m walk and cycle ride across Cornwall.

Anyone wishing to donate can go to the computer web link: www.justgiving.com/ellas-memory200kmchallenge or visit their website www.ellasmemory.org.uk